The Last Time
by starrysky7
Summary: There is never a last time when it comes to us. He always comes back to me and I always let him in. No matter what happens there will always be a next time. A series of one-shots that will soon be made into a story.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_I find myself at your door, just like all those times before_

_I'm not sure how I got there, all road lead me here_

_I imagine you are home, in your room all alone_

_And you open your eyes into mine and everything is better_

_This is the last time I'm asking you this, put my name at the top of your list_

_This is the last time I'm asking you why, you break my heart in the blink of an eye_

_You find yourself at my door, just like all those times before_

_You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave_

_And all the times I let you, just for you to go again_

_Disappear, when you come back, everything is better_

_This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong_

_This is the last time I say it's been you all along_

_This is the last time I let you in my door_

_This is the last time I won't hurt you anymore_

_The Last Time by Taylor Swift_

This is the last time, a fickle idea I repeated to myself, to him. A promise to myself that I wouldn't give him another chance, that he wouldn't hurt me again. A promise I never kept. At least now I have come to terms with it, released that I would always let him in, always give him another chance, always love him.

I remember the first time we were together. It was a hot summer night, middle of July, I had just turned nineteen and had been celebrating with my older brother, Josh. Seeing as how there was alcohol at the party, and as any underage 19 year-old would, I had a bit too much to drink. Josh didn't want to leave the party so his friend took me home. Unfortunately this friend and I didn't get along. Well we did until he kissed me one day and then refused to acknowledge that anything had happened. So of course, with me being drunk, I said some things I probably shouldn't have.

**_Flashback_**

"What is with you guys? Why do you confuse girls so much?" I asked as I stumbled through the door

"I don't think you should drink so much, kid" said Happy, who was holding me up

"Stop with the 'kid' thing, I'm not a kid" I said causing Happy to roll his eyes "But seriously, why can't you just be straight with a girl" I continued

"What'd you mean?" He asked frowning

"Mixed signals, treat 'em mean keep 'em keen does not work" I said turning around to face him

"It works pretty well for me" he said smirking

"That's because all the skanks who hang around the clubhouse have no self esteem and are dependent, no self respecting women would let a man treat her badly and stay with him" I said poking him in the chest

"And your a self respecting woman?" He asked, his smirk growing even wider, he grabbed the hand I was poking him with

"Yes I am" I replied pulling my hand out if his grip, which was hard considering the air tight grip he has

"But honestly, guys just need to tell a girl how he feels" I said looking up at his hard expression

"And what guy is giving you mixed signal?" He asked through gritted teeth

"Maybe the one who kissed me then ignored me" I said

Happy groaned and took a step back from me. I knew he would make a break for it but I wasn't going to let him, he wasn't getting away this time, not without talking to me about this.

"Hap, we have to talk about this" I said

"There's nothing to talk about" he said taking another step away but I just stepped towards him

"Happy, you kissed me, that at least counts as something to talk about" I said, in an almost pleading tone

"I kissed you because I felt like it, I just wanted to kiss someone and you were there" he said

"There were tons of other girls there who would do a lot more than kissing, why kiss me?" I asked in disbelief

"I don't know" he screamed "I just did okay" he said

"That's not a reason" I said quietly crossing my arms over my chest

"What do you want me to say?" He asked "Do you want me to say I have feelings for you or something?" He yelled

"I don't know" I said shrinking away from him, slightly afraid

"And I'm the indecisive one" he said laughing

"You are, you acted like it never happened" I screamed

"What was I supposed to do?" He asked taking a few steps towards me until he was right in front of me

"I didn't know what it meant" I said

"It didn't mean anything" he said

"Then you could have said that" I said "But that's not the case is it?" I asked taking a step so that we were barely an inch away from each other

"No, it's not" he whispered

He grabbed my face and kissed me passionately, pushing me into the wall behind us. I wrapped my arms around his neck while his ran up and down my body. Happy lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me to my bedroom, kicking the door closed behind us and throwing me on the bed.

As soon as I woke up I ran to the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. My head pounded and I laid it on the wall. I looked out the door, into the bedroom. Seeing a body in my bed I jumped up to see who it was. I walked over to the bed to see Happy lying there shirtless, the sheet just covering him. I gasped as soon as I realized what had happened, the memories of last night coming flooding back.

I ran back into the bathroom and closed the door, sliding down against it. I can't believe I just slept with Happy, granted I had been drunk, but still. I stood up and started the shower, stripping down and getting in, letting the water calm my racing mind.

It was then that I looked down to my thighs to find them covered in bruises, my shoulder had a bite mark and my neck was covered in hickeys. The ache in between my legs just went to prove that Happy hadn't just been rough, he'd been brutal.

I got out if the shower and wrapped a towel around me and walkoutings the bedroom, expecting to find the bed empty and Happy gone. But that was not the case. Happy was sitting down on the bed, he looked up when he saw me, getting up and walking towards me.

He looked at my neck, seeing the bruises he ran his hand down my neck. His hand travelled down my shoulder to the bite mark. He then pulled the towel off of me to inspect me for any further damage. He ran his hands over my thighs, I winced at the pain. After I winced he dropped his hands and walked out of the room. I grabbed my dressing gown that was hung over the back of my chair and put it on, running out of the room.

Happy was standing in the kitchen, a guilty expression on his face. I walked up to stand beside him.

"I'm fine Hap" I said

"No your not, your covered in bruises, I hurt you" he said clenching his fists

"It's not that bad" I said

Happy knocked a vase off the counter and it shattered on the floor. "It is that bad, it doesn't matter, it meant nothing, it won't happen again" he said

"No, your not doing this to me again" I screamed

"Missy" he started but I interrupted

"It's not fair for you to do this to me" I screamed

"I'm not doing anything" he yelled "I'm going back to the clubhouse and we won't say anything about this" he said calmly

"Fine then, leave, and don't come back, we can pretend this never happened" I yelled storming off back to my room and slamming the door

I was so angry at Happy that I just wanted him to leave. He couldn't use me like that and just act like nothing had happened, because something did and I have the bruises to prove it. I didn't care if he came back or not, I didn't want him to. Little did both of us know at the time he would come back only two days after.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2- Almost Lover**

_Your fingertips across my skin_

_The palm trees swaying in the wind_

_Well, I never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for_ me

_Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_Should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_I cannot go to the ocean_

_I cannot drive the streets at night_

_I cannot wake up in the morning_

_Without you on my mind_

_So you're gone and I'm haunted_

_And I bet you are just fine_

_Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out_

_Of my life_

_Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy_

* * *

The second time we were together was just as disastrous as the first. We wouldn't work, just couldn't, but some magnetic force pulled as together. I didn't choose to love Happy, I just did.

It was a year after that fateful drunken night. We had barely lasted a month before Happy left, leaving me to pick up the pieces. I had finally gotten all my shit together, I was in college, had an apartment and even a boyfriend, but of course Happy had to come and ruin what I had.

It was a cold winter day and I had just come home from my class, I was studying to become a Vet, working as a waitress. My parents paid for everything I needed, as long as I did well in school. My father was a lawyer and my mother was his trophy wife, I was basically the child they depended on to 'continue their legacy' or something like that. Some pompous reason for disowning their own child. When my brother had become a Son my parents were so embarrassed that they cut him off completely, to them they had no son. Of course all of their expectations then fell onto me.

So of course they enrolled me into the best school their money could buy, paid for my apartment and set me up with some son of their friend who was studying to be a doctor. Basically a man that them, and all of their friends, would approve of. Because if they ever found out about Happy, I'm pretty sure they would die of shame. They had already lost one child to the MC, to lose another would kill them.

I had been trying really hard to please them, going to functions and gatherings. Putting on a fake smile and pretending to care about the lives of my mothers friends. Put up with Michael. Not that Michael was a bad person, he really wasn't, in fact he was a good person. He treated me well, he was kind and generous, he loved me. But a small part wished that it was Happy I woke up next to, Happy whose arms wrapped around me at night time. As much as I tried to deny it, put it down to a teenage crush, I was still madly in love with Happy.

Michael was having dinner with some of his friends, I had said I was sick to get out of going. Michael's friends always looked down their nose at everyone else, most without even realizing it. It was just a natural reaction for them, to judge others and voice their opinions, even if the person under scrutiny was within ear shot.

I was sitting on my couch watching television, my legs wrapped up against my chest. I had a sloppy joe and bike shorts on, my face free of makeup, something you would never leave the house in.

When I heard a knock at the door I got up to answer it, expecting it to be Michael coming home early, my mother popping in for an in expecting visit. Never had I expected who was really behind the door.

"Hey Kid" said a familiar raspy voice

"Happy" I whispered staring at him

He seemed unchanged since I had seen him last, still the same hard expression he always wore, the one were you could never really tell what he was feeling. Same dark eyes that both scared me and filled me with warmth, depending on how he was looking at me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked frowning

"I thought you had enough manners to invite someone in" he said ignoring my question and pushing past me to walk inside

"I do, if I actually want the person inside my house" I said annoyed "Why are you here Happy?" I asked

"Your brother asked me to come, we've had some problem with the Mayans, he wanted to bring you done, just to be on the safe side" he explained while looking around

"I'm perfectly safe right here" I scoffed

"Yeah, I'm sure that Doctor toy boy can protect you, right" he said

"Have you been watching me?" I asked

"Just keeping a watchful eye, just protecting a brothers family" he said

"Oh I'm sure that's all it is, just doing your duty, right" I said in disbelief

"What do you mean?" He asked

"I think we both know it's a little more than that"

"Pack a bag, we're leaving" he said walking off scowling

"I'm not leaving" I said

"Why not?" He asked

"I have a life here, I have school, and friends, and Michael" I said

"A few days off school won't kill you, leave a note for Michael" he said, saying Michael's name as if it was poison in his mouth

"I'm staying here, if my brother thinks it's so important that I come then he should come get me himself" I said crossing my arms over my chest

It was like a Mexican stand-off, we were both to stubborn to budge, we would never compromise. One of the many reasons we never worked out.

"Fine" he said

He pulled out my draws and tipped them onto the floor, he was purposefully doing it to annoy me, I hated mess, one of the only things we had in common.

"Stop it" I screamed, he stopped what he was doing to look up at me triumphantly "I'll come with you, just give me some time to pack" I said annoyed

Happy walked out of the bedroom, leaving me to clean up the mess he had created, no surprise there. I picked up all my clothes, folding the ones I wanted to take and putting them into a bag, the others I chucked back into the draw, I could put them away properly when I got back.

I walked out into the loungeroom to see Happy stretched out on the couch watching the television. I grabbed my cell phone off the table, switched off all lights but the kitchen and walked over to Happy. I turned off the television and walked past Happy without looking at him. I wrote a quick note to Michael and left it on the kitchen counter.

Happy followed me outside, walking past me as I locked the door. I took a deep breath, desperately trying to relax. I knew that leaving with Happy would have some serious repercussions but I had to do it, if only to prove something to myself.

I walked over to Happy, who was sitting on his bike waiting for me to get on, holding a helmet out to me.

"Really, you couldn't have possibly driven a car here" I said

"Get on" he said angrily

I reluctantly took the helmet and put it on, getting on behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist. He started the bike and we left.

The drive to the clubhouse didn't take long, and when we arrived I got of the bike and stalked inside, not even bothering to say hello to my brother, and walked to the only dorm room that I knew, which unfortunately was Happy's. I chucked my bag on the ground and laid down on the bed. Before I knew it my eyes were closing and I was asleep.

* * *

I woke up at the sound of someone in my room, I opened my eyes expecting to see my room but saw the dark walls of Happy's dorm. I looked over to the clock to see that I had only been asleep for an hour. Happy was sitting on the bed next to me. I sat up and looked over at Happy, the strong stench of alcohol filled my nose.

"You've been drinking" I said "Oh wait, getting wasted is just a normal night for you, I'm surprised you didn't kick me out and bring in some skank" I said bitterly getting up from the bed

He stood up and walked over to me smirking "Would that make you jealous?" He asked

"Just like Michael makes you jealous" I said avoiding answering his question

"That prick doesn't make me jealous" he said angrily

"Whatever you say" I said mirroring the smirk he had on before

Happy stepped forward, making me step backwards. I entrapped with my back against the wall, there was no way out of this, I was trapped.

"Why would you care if I was jealous?" He asked

"I..I don't" I stammered

Happy put his arms on the wall next to my head, further blocking my escape. He leaned down and I froze, unable to move I just watched him move closer. He pressed his lips against mine and started kissing me. The kiss was passionate and lustful, I wrapped my arms around his neck, his roaming down my waist. He picked me up and moved us to the bed. Clothes were soon discarded, as were all thoughts of Michael.

* * *

I woke up with the sunlight streaming in from the window, showering the room in light. I snuggled into my bed, my eyes shot open when I felt skin underneath my hand. I looked up to see Happy asleep underneath me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder with my head on his chest.

"Oh shit" I whispered as I looked down to see myself completely naked

I rested my head back on his chest while I tried to figure out what to do next. I had just cheated on Michael, my mother would kill me. But of course she wouldn't if she never found out. That's when I decided that this night, and all those before it, stayed here. I would leave today, not sure how seeing as Happy rode here, and forget all about Happy, move on with my life, move on with Michael.

I tried to move but Happy pulled me closer to him. I relaxed and tried to enjoy what would be the last embrace I would get from him.

"You leaving?" He asked

I looked up at him with a sorrowful gaze "Yeah, I need to go back Hap, I don't belong here anymore, I never really did" I said

Happy moved his arm away from my shoulder and sat up. My shoulder went cold and I missed the warmth of his body next to mine. I sat up next to him, clutching the sheet to my chest, keeping a safe distance just in case he got angry.

"Why'd you bring me back, Hap?" I asked "It wasn't because of my brother was it"

We stared into each others eyes, neither one willing to break the trance. I loved his eyes, I could stare into them for hours upon hours. Get lost in those dark orbs, the only way you could ever tell his emotions.

He cupped my face with his hand and kissed me, it wasn't soft and gentle, not if you compared it to Michael's kiss, but by Happy's standard it was the softest and gentlest I think he had ever kissed a woman.

"Hap, please" I whispered between kisses "I need to leave, don't make this hard"

Happy pulled away and stared at my face, his face going cold, his expression hardening as he moved away. He got up and through the back on the bed next to me, picking up my clothes and chucking them at me.

"Happy" I started but he cut me off

"There's a shower in their, get changed and go" he said pulling on his clothes

"Happy, I've got no way to get back" I said

"I'll get someone" he said before leaving

I got up and showered, trying to let the water wash away these doubts I was having about going back. What I had said about not belonging here was complete bullshit, I had never belonged anywhere more than in Happy's arms. Never wanted anything more than to just be with him. And yet here I was, leaving the last chance I had with him to go back to my 'perfect' life. The 'perfect' path to a career I had set up, the 'perfect' family that I resented, the 'perfect' boyfriend who I wasn't even sure I loved. My life was far from perfect, but I had no other choice. If I stayed here my parents would cut me off, I didn't have enough money to finish school and what decent job prospects did I have here. Happy would never make me his Old Lady, and I didn't want to be anything less. It had to be this way, it was what was best for everyone.

After I had showered and changed I sat on the bed waiting for Happy to come back, I needed to get out of here soon, or else all the self encouragement as to why I should leave, adding up the pros and cons, would have been a total waste. And I wasn't known for wasting my time, unless Happy was concerned.

When Happy came back he muttered something about the prospect taking me back, grabbed my bag and led me out of the clubhouse. The prospect was waiting patiently for me on the bike, Happy handed me bag, scowling.

"Have a nice life with that perfect boyfriend of yours" he said through gritted teeth before walking away

I watched Happy walk away, a millions thoughts running through my brain, I wanted to stop him, to say that I had always loved him and that I would stay here and be his Old Lady. But another thing I wasn't known for was impulsivity, at least not anymore. I wasn't that crazy in love with Happy teenager anymore, I was an adult now, and my mother hadn't raised me to not think things through. And I had thought this through.

And with that I got on the back of the bike, riding away from Happy, away from all the memories and feelings. I hoped that with time and distance they would dissapear, oh how wrong I was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- Never Let Me Go**

_All the world is ours_

_Like they say in Scarface kid_

_You can push your drugs and I can make it big_

_Singing CBGB's have a real good gig_

_Hey you never know_

_Cause baby we were born to live fast and die young_

_Born to be bad, have fun_

_Honey, you and me can be one_

_Just believe, come on_

_If you love me hardcore then don't walk away_

_It's a game boy_

_I don't wanna play_

_I just wanna be yours_

_Like I always say_

_Never let me go_

_Boy, we're in a world war_

_Let's go all the way_

_Put your foot to the floor_

_Really walk away_

_Tell me that you need me more and more everyday_

_Never let me go, just stay_

_Never Let Me Go by Lana Del Rey_

* * *

People always said that everyone deserved a second chance, and I believed that, to some extent. But things were different with Happy, no matter how many chances I gave him, no matter how many times he walked out, I would still let him back in. Happy was like a drug to me, I desperately needed him in such an unhealthy way. That was how to describe our relationship, it was like I was a junkie and he was my own personal drug, I could never get enough of him. And it was slowly killing me.

Ever since I got on the back of the Prospect's bike I had felt nothing but regret, I regretted leaving Happy. But I knew that he would have just screwed me over, left me broken hearted once again.

When I had gotten back Michael had bombarded me with questions about where I was, why I had left. I had only half lied, saying that my brother needed me but when I got there he didn't anymore so I came back. I had avoided his question of how I got there and back, just said I was tired and headed to bed. I had been avoiding him since then, picking up more shifts, going out with friends, doing anything I could to prevent him from asking me any more questions.

This was one of the few times this week that we were actually together. He was sitting at the table reading a newspaper while I was drinking a glass of juice on the other side of the room.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yeah I'm fine, why?" I replied

"It just seems like you've been avoiding me, ever since you disappeared" he said frowning

"No, of course not" I said plastering a fake smile on my face "I've just been busy with school, and you know how my mum is" I lied

"Missy, we'll have dinner tonight, we'll leave at 7pm, okay" he said

"Yeah, sure, I'll be ready by then" I said walking into my room to get ready for work

By the time 7pm came I was standing in front of my full length mirror, wearing a tight black skirt and white v-neck t-shirt. My hair was hanging loose around my shoulders and I wasn't wearing much make up. I sighed, my mind wandering to Happy before I pushed the thought away, I wouldn't think of Happy ever again.

The restaurant we went to was upper class, expensive with five star quality food. A place that my parents would go to. Looking around I realized that Happy would never come to a place like this, he would stick out like a sore thumb with his tattoos and leather cut.

The meal was enjoyable, the food was nice, we made small talk. It was comfortable but I couldn't help but feel like it was so forced, I forced myself to not run out of the room screaming.

"There's something I need to ask you" he said pulling something out of his pocket

"Okay" I said unsure of what he would ask

"Would you do me the honour of marrying me?" He asked pulling out a ring

The ring was silver, with a large diamond, it looked expensive. I stared at it, trying to decide. I knew that this would never happen with Happy, as much as I wanted it to. I loved Michael, just not as much as I loved Happy. And I knew that I should say yes, marry Michael, live out a perfect life. But I just couldn't.

"I'm sorry, but I can't marry you" I said closing the box

"Why?" He asked

"Because I don't love you, not as much as I should, and I think you know that" I said

"But, we're so good together" he said

"No, were not" I said moving my hands away from his "I'm not my mother, I'm not going to become the perfect trophy wife for you, I'm sorry, you deserve someone who can be that for you"

"You can be that, you are that"

"No, I'm not, and if you really knew me you'd know that" I said taking a deep breath before continuing "I pack up your stuff, you can come get it tommorow"

I got up from the table and walked out of the restaurant, without looking back. I started walking back to my apartment, since Michael drove us here and I didn't think he would want to drive me home, I had no ride.

It was a short walk to my apartment and it was a relatively safe neighborhood I wasn't worried, besides I always carried a gun in my bag, the one Happy had given me after he taught me to shoot.

When I got to my apartment block I was too distracted to notice the motorbike parked outside. When I reached my apartment the door was ajar, the lock had been picked. I pulled the gun out of my bag and walked inside. The first thing I saw was the tattooed biker sitting on my couch. I put away my gun when I saw him.

"You still carrying a gun" he said smirking

"Of course I do, never know when you might need it" I snapped "Why are you here Happy? I left remember" I asked

"What happened to the prick?" He asked ignoring my question

"I ended things" I said looking down at my shoes

Happy raised an eyebrow at me "It was not because of you, he asked me to marry him and I said no" I said

"Why'd you say no?" He asked

"Because, I don't want to become some trophy wife, I'm not my mother and I don't want to be" I said

I sat down on the couch next to Happy and he smiled at me, a genuine smile. He grabbed my face and pulled it towards him, our lips colliding into a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him towards me.

It was in that moment that I realized that Happy was all I wanted, all I needed. I didn't care about what my mother wanted for me, she had no say in how I lived my life. I loved Happy, and would be with him, no matter what anyone else thought.

He pulled away and I leant my forehead on his "Does this mean your coming back?" He asked

"Hell yeah" I said pulling him by the collar into another kiss

**Last chapter, what do you think of me making this into a proper story. It would focus on what happened before chapter one and what happens in between chapters one and two.**


End file.
